Infuriatingly Annoying Dog Breeds and “Breed Standards”

The progressive deterioration of many breeds of dogs by breeders is a subject which infuriates me on a regular basis. I’m not talking about breeds who tend to be landsharks (ahem Chihuahuas) or the ones that seem to think that nail trims will result in their deaths (most small dogs and many big ones). Those things aren’t the dogs’ fault, they’re the owners’.

It is the fault of breeders that brachycephalic dogs exist. These are dogs whose noses have been progressively shortened to the point where every breath is a struggle. Where every walk outside is a risk for overheating. Where any surgery becomes that much more unsafe because it is so hard to keep their oxygen at an appropriate level. As a side note, oxygen is slightly crucial to living.

By the way, if you think snorting or gasping noises on a constant basis are adorable, just know that it’s not a noise they make to be cute. It is a noise they make because they can’t breathe. Stop calling it cute. It’s not.

These short noses and terrible airways serve no practical purpose. In fact, it seems to be around only because some idiots think it’s cute so they buy the snorting little puppies. Add obesity in and you have yourself a recipe for a rather substandard life. Those people have contributed to the decline of the breed, and should be ashamed of themselves. If nobody bought these dogs, breeders and “breeders” wouldn’t have any reason to continue breeding for that attribute.

In case you are wondering which breeds fall under this category, brachycephalics would be pugs, English bulldogs, and the like. If you look at pictures of English bulldogs from years ago, they weren’t the sickly creatures they are today. The majority percentage of them must be born by c-section due to the size of their head and shoulders. Darwin would have a field day with that.

When you buy one of these puppies, ask yourself if you think it’s OK that the mother would have needed surgery to have that pup, and quite possibly could have needed surgery in order to be impregnated. Imagine that process for every single litter, and how many surgeries that dog has to undergo so the breeder can make a couple thousand dollars for each one. Remember when I mentioned it’s hard to keep a brachycephalic’s oxygen up? Add the weight of a pregnant belly and you have yourself one risky surgery.  Totally worth it though, right?  Oh, and expect to do multiple dental cleanings throughout their life since they dentition is so terrible, they are incredibly prone to dental disease.

“’Just because a problem is common, that doesn’t make it less of a problem for the individuals who suffer it.”

Another thing breeders and jerks do is crop their dog’s ears.  I wish I could meet whoever started this trend so I can punch them in the throat.  Don’t try to tell me this is a breed standard.  Why is it OK to make it a breed standard to mutilate a dog’s ears so that they stand up in an esthetically pleasing way?   Who was the moron who first decided that this was esthetically pleasing anyway?  Again, another stupid thing people do to their dogs for no practical reason.  Europe had it right when they made this illegal,  and I hope that Canada soon follows suit.  If there were a hell, there would be a special place in it for people who crop dogs’ ears.

I’m not a fan of declawing either.  If you don’t want an animal that will scratch things, get a fucking hamster.  Most people don’t actually know the process of removing a cat’s claws.  Let me give you a quick overview.  Have a look at the first digit on each of your fingers.  Now imagine having them removed.  This is exactly what happens when you have your cat declawed.   It is an amputation.  If you get a cat, and it begins scratching things, just remember that you got a cat and they scratch things.  Trim their nails, give them other things to scratch, or do yourself and the cats of the world a favour and pick a different animal to subject to your stupidity.


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